from mind to reality

I spent 80 hours over the last 3 weeks playing a video game.

The good news is, I spent approximaely 85% of that time listening to educational videos on YouTube. It’s the kind of sandbox game that you can choose to play mindlessly, leveling skills from 0 up to 100, so you can spend hours just chopping bush after bush without really paying attengion.

(Except the other 15% of the time, when my attention gets hijacked by enemies that popped out from behind said bush, forcing me to either run frantically or die pathetically, then rewind the YouTube video back to when the carnage started.)

It got me thinking that bush-chopping in the game is of course something rather useless to learn — but what it was really tracking, indirectly, was my “level” in learning about a certain topic on YouTube.

And that got me thinking, what skill does it most make sense for me to focus on learning?

In other words: What’s the most important skill to learn for a happy life?

Personally, I believe the answer is “letting go”. Of what? Of the past, of your resentment, and of your ego. (I arrived at this answer through dozens of hours of watching Eckhart Tolle — courtesy of “Level 4 woodcutter.”)

Just think about it: if there’s no bad memory from the past plaguing you in this moment, no bad emotion you’re bringing into the present… what is here left to be unhappy about? There’s only the present moment, accepted as it is, with no expectation being compared to it to make it “not enough”.

And when you let go of ego, you make all your interactions with any person so much easier. If someone tries to assert superiority in any way, whether it’s being dominant during a work meeting, or refusing to make space for you on the sidewalk, you don’t get triggered into responding. You can let them feed themselves the illusion that they’re somehow “more than you” because their ego is acting up, and be content in your own reality.

But I was curious what the wise people of the internet think.

If AI overviews truly are a reflection of what most content out there says, then it would seem people generally agree:

“While many skills contribute to happiness, building and maintaining strong, positive relationships consistently emerges as the most crucial factor, supported by research like the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Other vital skills include practicing gratitude, cultivating self-compassion, developing resilience, practicing mindfulness, and finding purpose, all of which enhance well-being and our ability to navigate life’s challenges.” 

Then I looked further. One of the top results was a Psychology Today article, which listed “10 Skills You Need to Live a Happy Life.“

The first step was:

1. Live a happy life by creating a plan for your happiness.

This does not bode well, because it has the implication that your life can only be happy if it goes according to this plan. And as soon as you have a plan, you also have a (very big) potential for things to not go according to plan.

One of the other steps did mention emotional resiliency to difficulties, but the general premise of the article seemed to be that once you make a plan, and follow the other steps (including thinking positive, boosting self-confidence, finding work-life balance) your plan will more or less work out, thus leading you to a happy life.

Am I saying that you shouldn’t make plans? No, I don’t think many humans are capable of that — society would quickly crumble. (Although many marketers and IT workers would be delighted to have no countless meetings happen anymore).

Even Eckhart Tolle doesn’t say not to make future plans. He does, however, say we should distinguish between necessary, practical planning and obsessive worrying or projecting happiness into a hypothetical future. In AI’s words, “He emphasizes that while you can deliberately plan your week, once done, your focus should return to the present moment.”

Is this easier said than done? Almost definitely. But think how much more content you’d be if you could let go of all those “plans that didn’t work out.” Maybe by the time I’m level 100, I’ll have nailed it.